Fragile, Tiny Shells
by SoBadAtBeingGood
Summary: Oneshot. With the birth of his first child, Zuko finds himself contemplating the nature of fatherhood.


**Hey guys! Don't worry, I'm still working hard on Lineage of Dragons. This is just a little oneshot that's been nagging me for a little while.**

**Takes place about 8-10 years after Sozin's Comet. **

* * *

She was small. And... pink. Pinker than Zuko expected a baby to be. Were all babies this _pink_? For a brief moment, he wondered if it was normal.

But then decided that didn't matter. Because she was his daughter and she was healthy.

It was sunset, the last rays of Agni streaming in through the window and illuminating the room in a red-orange glow. The translucent curtains flowed in the soft ocean breeze. Zuko walked slowly back and forth in front of the window, arms gently bouncing the tightly wrapped newborn. The Firelord's eyes were fixed on his child, lips curved in a small smile.

This really was nothing short of a miracle. This thing... this tiny, defenseless _thing_... was his. His flesh and blood. And as he stared at his child's sleeping form, Zuko knew - without a doubt - that he was indescribably happy.

Happy... and _angry_.

"Zuko?"

Looking away from his daughter for what was probably the first time in over an hour, Zuko's smile widened when he saw his dear, twenty year old friend. "You can come in, Aang."

With his usual goofy smile, the Avatar practically bounced into the room. He was glad Zuko had finally calmed down. The Firelord had been a wreck all day, incessantly pacing the halls of the palace and snapping at anyone who spoke to him. Once infant cries could be heard, everyone thought Zuko would finally relax.

This wasn't the case. After given permission to hold his child, it was discovered soon after Zuko wasn't about to let anyone else (except his wife) hold her. Or even get a good _look_ at her. His overly protective, fatherly instinct had kicked in a little bit earlier than everyone anticipated. To the Fire Lady's amusement, he had disappeared soon after, baby in tow. Aang wanted to try and look for him, but Katara held him back.

"He wants some alone time with his daughter," Katara had stated simply. "Let him be. It's not like he's going to kidnap her and take her to the Earth Kingdom."

Aang hadn't been so sure.

Now Zuko seemed open to others being near his daughter, so Aang walked right on up to finally get a good look at the first child to be born to their group. "Hey there! I'm your Uncle Aang!" he whispered excitedly. "You know... your father's been hogging you all day, so it's nice to finally meet you."

"Aang," Zuko said, equally as quiet. "She's asleep. Even if she wasn't, she wouldn't understand you."

Aang gave him a questioning look. "So?"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Zuko returned his gaze to his daughter. There were some things that were never going to change.

Aang's smile slowly faded away as he noticed the pensive look on his friend's face. "Zuko, are you alright?"

At first, Zuko considered lying. Why would anything not be alright? He was currently holding the most precious thing in the world and was filled with so much joy, he thought he might actually burst.

But as he knew all too well, anger was never something to ignore.

With a small sigh, he gave a quick shake of the head. Walking over to the bloodwood crib, he gently placed his daughter into it. He smoothed a hand over her surprisingly thick hair before placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. "Sleep well, my princess."

Zuko led Aang out of the room and down the hall. Aang asked where they were going, but Zuko didn't respond; he just kept walking.

They eventually arrived at a balcony. The sun was set and sky was rapidly transitioning from purple to deep blue, stars beginning to litter the sky near the eastern horizon. Zuko tightly gripped the railing, eyes downcast toward the garden below the balcony. Aang stood next to him, admiring what was left of the sunset. "So what's wrong?" Aang asked. "I would think that you would be happy..."

"I _am_ happy," Zuko stressed. "I don't think it's possible for me to be any happier." He clenched one of hands into a fist, hitting it against the railing in an even rhythm.

Aang's brow furrowed in confusion. "Then... what's wrong?"

Zuko closed his eyes and sighed before abruptly turning to face the Avatar fully. "I love her." He extended his arm toward the direction they just came from. "She's all of three hours old, I don't _really_ know anything about her. And yet, I love her more than anything on this planet!"

"Well... she _is_ your daughter..." Aang pointed out.

"No, you don't understand. You _can't_ understand," Zuko insisted. "You're not a father. You haven't had child and looked into their face and just... _know_. I look at her face and I know that I would do _anything_ for her. I am more certain of that than I have ever been about anything!" He paused, closing his eyes and biting his lip.

Aang hesitated to say anything, not having any idea where Zuko was going with this. But when the Firelord didn't offer anything further, "I don't think that's particularly _unusual_..."

Zuko shook his head, letting out a deprecating laugh. When he opened his eyes, Aang was startled by the cold _rage_ he could see in their golden depths.

"I don't... why would...?" The Firelord shook his head again, taking a deep breath to collect his thoughts. "I don't understand how a father could look at their child and be okay with... with _hurting_ them."

Aang's eyes widened. For the first time in years, he actually _looked_ at Zuko's scar. While it was an undisputable fact that Ozai was a heartless monster for what he did to his son, it was virtually never brought up. Especially not by Zuko himself.

"I mean..." the firebender went on, "I get it. Ozai is the scum of the planet. I've known that for _years_. There was never any doubt that he's a horrible person and a terrible father."

"Right. But..." the Avatar egged on.

"But now that I _have_ a child... Now that I know what a father is _supposed_ to feel like..." He shook his head, once again squeezing the railing in a death grip. "I'm convinced that only something completely inhuman can look at their own child and think that it's okay to hurt them. That _suffering_ is the best teacher. Agni... even animals aren't that cruel to their young."

Aang shook his head with a small sigh. "I don't know what to say..."

Zuko smiled. "You don't need to say anything. I'm just telling why I'm not as purely happy as I should be. Why I'm angry..."

The airbender frowned at this. _No... It can't be..._ "Zuko... are you telling me you _weren't_ angry at your father before today?"

Zuko shrugged, but when purposefully kept his eyes cast downward, Aang got his answer.

"By all the spirits...! I-I had no idea that you... you still felt..."

"What?" Zuko snapped. "That I still loved him? That despite all that he's done me, not to mention the world, that I still couldn't help but hold out hope and think of him as a _father_?"

"I didn't mean - "

"I was angry at him. Angry that he wasn't the father I wanted him to be. Angry for everything he put me through. But I couldn't hate him. I always thought to myself: I don't know what the pressures of being Firelord could push a person to do. I don't know what it's like to be a father. Maybe... just maybe Ozai did it because he cared for me, on some deep level." Zuko scoffed. "Well, now I'm Firelord _and_ a father. And now there are no more excuses."

Zuko turned and looked in the direction of his daughter's nursery. Aang imagined it was taking a lot of willpower for the Firelord to restrain himself from running back to make sure she was okay.

"Now..." Zuko said softly, "I can't even hate him. If anything, I think I _pity_ him. Pity the fact that Ozai was incapable of feeling what I'm feeling right now."

Aang nodded, silently grateful. Hate is a powerful emotion, and it only leads its bearers down a dark path.

They went their separate ways soon after that, for which Zuko was grateful for. While it had probably been good for him to get all of that off his chest, he was anxious to get back to his daughter.

He ran back to her room, probably in an undignified manner, but he didn't care. He wanted to see his daughter. He didn't even have to do anything with her. He was content to just stand by her crib and watch her sleep.

As he approached the nursery, he started to hear a voice coming from his daughter's room. At first, Zuko was alarmed that something _other-than-him_ was in the vicinity of his daughter. But then, he realized whose voice that was.

"_...Like fragile, tiny shells... drifting in the foam..._"

When he arrived, Zuko stood in the door frame with a smile forming on his lips. He watched as his uncle leaned over the crib and sang softly.

"_...Brave soldier girl... comes marching home._"

As he finished the song, Iroh seemed to sense Zuko's presence and looked up to met his gaze. "You have a beautiful daughter, my nephew."

Zuko stepped up to stand next to his uncle, looking into the crib to gaze at his daughter's sleeping form. Unbidden tears started to form in his eyes. "You have a beautiful granddaughter, Uncle."

Iroh's eyes widened in surprise for a moment before his expression melted into a warm smile. He looked back down into the crib. "That I do," he agreed.

Zuko's eyes slid to look at his uncle again. This man... who was powerful, wise, and kind... was his real father. A man who cherished him and would never, _ever_ hurt him or his daughter.

"Thank you, Uncle." He closed his eyes and let the tears fall. "For everything."

Iroh looked back at his nephew for a moment. Then, placing a hand on the Firelord's shoulder, he said, "You are most welcome, Zuko."

* * *

**Got this plot bunny from my mother when she told me her reaction to my birth (she had been abused as a child).**

**Now, I'll go back and work on Lineage of Dragons, double time!**


End file.
